First Real Snow Day In The Fall & World Of Chaos

About 6am ish or before it start snowing. The snow pretty much melts as it hit the road and it stick on other surface. As for me, facing world of chaos academically with three theses due soon that seem to be an impossible task and finals coming up from 17th to the 21st. What else better could I ask fore? Absolutely nothing...

Poem

I wrote this dedicated to my mom back in 2003.

Thanking You

I'll Be Thanking You I am Here Today
Cause Wasn't You I'll Be Another Place
Things Comes To Me Not Any Other Easier Way
I Had Mistake In Every Place
Your Influence Made Me What I am Today
Thing Would Not Be The Same Old Way



Some random poem I came up with recently while listening to Cold Play

No Title (Feel Free To Give Me A Title)

Start A Revolution Start A War
Why Are All These Men And Women Dying For?
They Came Back Home Underneath A Drapery
Due To Some Silly Men's Ideology
The Lies Been Told To Them From The Start
A Generation Is Completely Lost
Is It All Worth It After All?
Is It All Worth It After All?

Army Ten-Miler Run 07' As A First Timer

I had a very interesting Columbus weekend . Back in April, Tim recommended me to register for the Army Ten-Miller run down in D.C so I did. Back in my ROTC days, I never thought about doing it even I had heard of it. But due to the incident in May, I have to take a three month hiatus from running. Went back to running again back in late August, did a 7 and 8 miles run on West Side Highway's running path with Tim on the last two weeks in September and did some light running afterward.

On Saturday morning, Pete, Tim and I got to Jay's place around 5 ish in the morning in Arlington. Since Pete got NYPD cadets training and it didn't end until late on Friday night. Picked up the running timing chip etc later that afternoon. That night we had pasta salad made by Jay's wife Katie, hamburgers, hot dogs for dinner. The boarding and food is all free thanks to the Delcos!!! Also I was able to play with their dogs Murphy and Hutch.

On the day of the run. Sunday, October 7th. Waked up around 6:40ish and got to starting line on 7:40ish. There are 26 thousands participants along the racing line. On 8 o'clock it officially start and I didn't get to the starting line 4 minutes later. Pete and Matt (Prior service E-5 now an O-2/O-3 friend of Jay) were few feet ahead of Tim and I. While the Delcos about 10 meters behind us since they are taking it easy. Along the running path of the Ten Miler, I was able to see many scenery views around D.C that was pretty amazing. One things made me some what sad was seeing many military veterans running with amputees or even blind participates this events along with them are their aid personals. I have all the respect to them and for their sacrifices they made. I feel kind of bad when I run past them and Iguess that is normal. The weather was great in the 80s to 90s as time goes by and with slight breeze.

Overall, I glad I attended this event. Hopefully I will do it again next year. My overall place is 7471 out of 26,000 individual
Divison Place 698
Male/Total 5429
Chip Time 1:35:35
Gun Time 1:39:46. Which I am extremely happy since my personal goal is under 1 hour and 40 mins. I did 1:35:35 which is not bad for first timer like my self. One thing I did too much is the water stop 3-4 times, I should just stop twice but due to heat is a must. Maybe I could have save at least 5 mins if I didn't stop by the water stop. My personal goal is do 1:20 next year, and hopefully by Wednesday I could go back to jogging again if it doesn't rain.

Funny Thursday...

I have no class on Friday due to Yom Kipppur. On Thursday night, Jesse and I went to Best of In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series at Happy Ending (302 Broome St). The erotic reading done by Rachel Kramer Bussel, Samara O'Shea and many others fill me with laughter. It was my first time attending a reading like this and I found it to be wonderful. On the negative side the whole entire place was fills with people. It was a positive and new experience and I am hoping to attend it again next month or by November.

Another Daze

James called me this morning around 10am. He got into an accident...

Four Weeks Ago...

During the weekend of the 23rd...

6 Years Later...

Tomorrow mark the 6th Anniversary of September 11 on the exact same Tuesday. It seem not long ago and it felt like it was just another scene from a disaster movie or a nightmare. James was on a short brake right after his basic training from the Army and I was a freshman at John Jay College of Criminal Justice at the third week of school.

Mom calls me that morning and while I was semi daze due to that I had afternoon class that day. While I was riding the 7 train I could see bunch of dust clouds covering where WTC used to stand. When I got to John Jay, I found out it was closed due to it until Monday. Everything seem to be unreal and weird afterward. Less than two years later James got deployed to Iraq with the 4th ID while I was still daze and confuse at John Jay. Even I was trying to do my best but not enough with all the BS I have to put up with. The feeling of anomie back then is numbing. Currently I am not anymore. I am proud to call my self an Army ex-cadet while I was in the Army ROTC at Fordham University and served with the Pershing Rifles where I contribute my time to this organization and continue the tradition.

As suppose to my 2005 graduation class with the ROTC. Most of these kids I know are either in Afghanistan, Iraq or station in some boondocks towns, or living their civilian life as Army National Guard/Reserve playing weekend warriors once a month. As for me, I am just playing catch up with my self and feeling some bitterness in my mouth. "Life is full of broken hearts and shatter dreams". All I am trying to do is glue it back together piece by piece and FIDO! As for my future is unsudden, Army may not accept me. My optimism have run dry, I just have to leave it to fate.

Breeze

Classes started back on Monday 27th of August. While I sleep, I can feel the cool summer breeze blowing through my window. I feel peaceful and calm. The Zen in me just relaxes within my self.

As Of 15August2007 Wednesday

I finished my final session of summer school on Monday. Today I handed in the critical essay under the door of Professor Gates' office. Where sadly we won't see her again at the campus of QC since she is moving to Cali teaching at UCLA in San Diego. She is one of the nicest and most informative Media Studies at QC. Man I love her as a professor! I also picked up my useless diploma (Associate in Arts) from QCC and most likely it would be the last and final time I ever stop by there again.

Am I A Capitalist Pig?

Recently my friend James, the one who served in the Army during OIF (Operation Iraqi Freedom) with 4th Infantry Division from 03 to 04 started calling me that. Lately he been reading too much about Karl Marx and the ideology of pure Communism. I mean on July 17th he finally brought me the Johnnie Walker Blue Label as a post birthday present he was talking about. Sometimes I like materialistic things and excessive redundant things. Am I a capitalist pig?

It somewhat applies and semi related to the articles for my summer session on Media Criticism with Professor Gates. The No Logo articles/book with Naomi Klein and he movement of anti-globalization movement. I mean globalization and many other movements got its pros and cons. It is not up to me to do something about it but the rest of the world. I mean my vote and my support counts but with out the mass nothing get done.

I wonder James' Communism ideology is a phase or what? or he got too brainwash reading these books and articles or just joking around. Since sometimes I can't sense if someone is joking or serious. It is hard to tell. Oh well. Only time can tell where he believes United States and the rest of the world going to have a huge movement and reborn as Communist or a World War III fighting for natural resources beside crude oil.

Trip Down To VA & TN

On 26th to 29th went down to VA & TN

After A Quarter Of A Century

I turned silver vintage today!!! I can't believe I am twenty-five years old. I wonder if I am going to live another twenty-five. My mom (23) and dad (25) gave birth to me on July 14th 1982 0549 Hour in Taipei, Taiwan (R.O.C) in the Taiwanese Air Force Hospital. Like most of my cousins since my maternal grandpa was in the Taiwanese Air Force. Thanks mom and dad!!!

July 4th 07

I grilled some stakes and Italian sausages on July 4th on the terrace of my apartment for my grandma and mom. I invited some of my friends but none of them are able make it. So that leave me the only guy in the house to cook these bad boys.

Saturday In Brooklyn

On 23rd of June Saturday. I decided to go visit Brooklyn's Coney Island boardwalk and the Mermaid Parade. I took bunch of pictures on the boardwalk since by Fall most of these relic structures and sites will be torn down and gone. Both side of the street on Surf Avenue were pack with people with police barricade. It was my first time checking out the Mermaid Parade and is also their 25th Anniversary. The parade start about 2 p.m, man was I in a surprise of life time. The theme of the parade are all Oceanic with female and male mermaids, pirates, beach goers, and swimmers etc. I just can't believe my eyes that I saw top less women marching on the parade. It was semi shocking yet fascinating. Bunch of photographers are taking pictures with their SLR cameras including me. There were some amazing and not so amazing costume and bunch of adorable children marching with their parents.

My Life...

Next month from today. I will be quarter of century years old. Man. I am turning vintage! Just like my Chewie mug in my profile but five years younger. Since Star War Episode Four released in the theaters back in May 1977.

One Of Those Days In NYC... In Queens

On Monday June 11th mid afternoon as I step out of the podiatrists clinic. My right foot is still kinda numb and sore due to the soft cast I have to wear for the duration in May and June. The doctor recommend either go for physical therapy or just moving your joint on your right foot much as possible. So I decided to move it much as possible and if the pain still persist for a month I have to go back for another check up.

Afterward I decided to stop by my local CitiBank to deposit some money at 25-47 Parsons Blvd since is about few blocks away from my house. As I step out the bank and turned left corner toward my parking spot around 1450 hours or slight before. I heard a huge metallic clinking sound like the one when a huge truck makes when they drive through those steel plate that cover pot holes or ditches on the road. I got curious and turned around the corner, what I see is something unbelievable. Someone actually drove their car pass the curb and ran through Ridgewood bank.

Who ever drove their car had enter at least 6 to 10 feet into this bank (or office) from the angle where I was standing. I think a middle age man right next to me called the cop. There were some smoke and shatter glasses and bend aluminum framing from the windows and doors from the bank. Few minutes later I heard a scream coming from a woman in the store. About 5 to 10 minutes later NYPD's ESU, FDNY and some two ambulance arrived. At the time I heard there were one injured person from one of the fireman. I felt guilty and like a retard just be a bystander and watching this ordeal/carnage and left after they arrived. Below is the link that cover this incident at
http://www.wnbc.com/news/13482387/detail.html .

Similar incidents happen in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx through out this year on the news. It make me wonder. Well. Glad it wasn't me that got hurt and I didn't parked my car around that area. It will be really something hit by a car in May and anther time in June. I wonder "what would be the chance of that?". That remind me I should go take EMT classes and become certified as an EMT at Laguardia Community College or some where else. The knowledge of that might come in handy someday at long as I don't get any lawsuits from the victims that I am trying to help.

A Month Ago

Status
On 8th of May Tuesday, between 1400 to 1430 hours two hours after class I got hit by a car on the corner of Horace Harding Expy west bound and Kissena Blvd intersection in front of the Dunkin Donuts/Baskin-Robins about a block away from QC. I still can remember the incident semi vividly as I crossing the street and is totally unreal like a movie. The cars going west bound on Horace Harding Expy is still green light and they are about 300 ft away on my right. In my mind at the time is “Hey. They are about 300 ft away and it is impossible they will hit me! It is not like they are F1 race cars with nitrous turbo or rockets charge and could reach where I am within 10 seconds flat”.

So. I decided to jaywalk and I was the first one to cross with several students behind me still on the corner waiting for the red light to cross. As I crossed the street almost reaching Dunkin Donuts’s corner about 10 ft away, “wham” a white two door sedan making a right on Kissena hit me and I fly back about four to five feet (I am so glad I always wear a backpack with a water bottle on the outer bag if I didn’t I would have crack my head. I don’t know why the driver (that retard old geezer) gas up while making a right and saw me and hit me. Since usually and norm, you don’t gas up when making turns when there is pedestrians crossing even I don’t do that unless there is no pedestrians period.

As I lied on the ground for maybe 5 to 10 seconds and I got up. The driver came out of his car and yell at me about I wasn’t on the pedestrians as his only defense (I can’t recall what he said exactly but something like that) I might be few feet away from the pedestrians lane but it make no difference and he is wrong. I cursed him out for few minutes and telling him about how he ruined my day. I think there is about 20 odd students as witness and were waiting for the bus. Somehow I was frustrated and can’t make a real judgment at the time and decided to let him go. Even he offered me to call the cop and I declined. BIG MISTAKES OF MY LIFE! At the time I was completely incoherently able to make decision for my self due to shock. I let him go and he received the get out of jail card of his life. After this ordeal I received left torn calf muscle and all four fracture right toes knuckle beside the thumb toe which wasn’t diagnosis properly at New York Hospital of Queens until a week later at the podiatrists’ clinic. At the time I had a swollen right foot for two weeks or so though out May.

I am currently still healing from the wound with a soft cloth cast and I was walking with a huge limp but now it is slightly better. I just hope I won’t have any problems by October since I am running the Army Ten-Miler on October 7th down in D.C with couple of my friends who is in the Army National Guard. Plus my feet, calves and lungs are aching with desires to go back to running 4 to 6 miles again. I just want to get back to running/jogging!!! Stupid fractures on the foot and I wish you heal back fast and properly. They might be ending up with arthritis and most likely they will.


AAR (After-Action Review)
The reason I made a hasty decision on that day due to
I got a 2nd group short-film project that is due on the 17th and I am under tremendous pressure unlike the rest of my team mates. If I did go to the hospital right at the moment after it happen our 2nd short-film project would probably never get completed or off the ground since we are short of hands and I am the cinemaphotographer for the group.

Out of the 5 people within the group, I am the only guy working with 4 female that included Shannon, Miranda, Natalie, and Rita. Shannon received mononucleosis and Rita who give birth to a girl few months before received lupus and was in ICU for couples of week and was MIA completely unable to contacts with out reply period. Plus it is impossible to follow theirs schedule and I wanted to do it during the Spring brake in late April but none of them willing to do anything about it since most of them are free anyhow. So everything was delay for several weeks mostly due to Shannon since she is part of the cast in this short film. The film came out semi half ass work due to time constrains and partially I have to blame my self let this happen and we only have three/four people for the cast includes me. Plus I am the mostly the only one that handle the camera works through out the shooting process and most of the film editing. Somehow, I still feel my group let me down without helping me on the entire final cut process on the film. I am not trying to brag about it but it is the fact that I did and spent a lot of time on this short film.

One of my friends called me an idiot, typical Asian and should file the police report and make the claims. Probably I would end up with couple grand or even more in my bank account from this lawsuit and my medical fee would be cover by the old geezer’s insurance company. Thanks to Health Plus my medical treatment is cover by the state of New York/fed government. But I do feel guilty about that. Since is better let the old geezer’s insurance company pays and his insurance fee would go up. Perhaps his license would get suspended.

If I were some of my friends with bad temper, they would probably end up punching the old geezer several times and go far as grabbing his neck and jam it between the car and its car door several times in front of his wife. Since his wife was on the passenger side when it happens and probably they were arguing or talking that result of hitting me. Perhaps is just a fantasy of mine since I would never or wanted to do such a thing to another human being plus I would get arrested. Maybe only exclusively to rapist, child molesters and mass killers which they truly deserved it by nature. It remind me of the ending scene of Korean movie Lady Vengeance directed by Chan Wook Park what the parents did to the child sadist also Hard Candy directed by David Slade by manipulated someone to kill them self. (Reminder - get both of them on DVDs in my DVDs collections when I get the extra cash)


Lessons I Learned From This Ordeal
Somehow writing this make me feel like a bitch complaining and whining about life. But it slightly makes me feel better. “You Learn” in life like the Alanis Morissette song. If I had a time machine I should have called my mom and asked her what to do on that moment instead of calling her 10 minutes later after it happens. Maybe because I feel completely unreal at the time and moment in life it just happens to me. The possibility and result could be endless. Oh well. Injustice and unfairness is everywhere and I slip my chance and sucked up the pain and drive on. FIDO! (Forget It & Drives On) I guess I am a fool and too nice to peruse this.

One true lesson I learned beside this ordeal is “You can’t relies on anybody (your fellow men or women) but your self maybe in the military your battle buddies where your life depends on it“ Also due to military hierarchy and I love that system and I won’t abuse it. Perhaps only your closest friends could be reliable sometimes and most of the times. Maybe I already know all of this already and all of us are selfish in many way. Could it perhaps maybe we are New Yorkers and also due to the media desensitized our feeling toward one another. If I were living in a small town it might be a different story etc. Life moves on… I just hate small cuts, wounds and pains since they hurt the deepest.

Two Years From Now...

Lets see...
In two years from now as of today, I should be graduated from QC and received my B.A in Media Studies and Political Science already. The graduation would most likely be on 31st of May. Hopefully I will be contracted with the Army with a slot through OCS and get my commission as a 2nd lieutenant by the end of 2009 in the Active Army. If it happens Army Airborne, Air Assault and Ranger School here I come!!! I pray to be branch infantry but beggar can't be chooser. If it turned to one of those broken dreams. I will be ending up roaming around NYC desperately looking for a real job in the real world with my useless degrees or move to Seattle area and be miserable. Where else could I get a starting salary of $4K a month after tax beside the U.S Army as a 2nd lieutenant?